Posted by: iceangel16 | December 26, 2009

Day After Christmas

It has been a really long time since I’ve blogged.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to blog, it was just that things have been so crazy busy that I haven’t had time to stop and blog.

Hhmmm….what’s new with me….

Well, my semester of hell is finally done.  I raised my g.p.a. to a 3.00.  Which I was glad!  My grades were an A, A-, B, B-…I was tickled pink when I saw my grades.

As it stands, in May 2010 I’ll graduate from undergrad school with a degree in political science and a minor in history.  Bad thing is I will have to put grad school off for a year or two because I need to save up, but work doesn’t give out raises and the cost of things like rent and such keep going up.  At this point, I’ll be lucky to get away to grad school for my social work degree.

For those that knew I was going to see one of my fav bands Breaking Benjamin….sad news, I didn’t see them. 

I was on my way to the concert and got into a car accident.  I’m ok, just bruises, pulled muscles, and angry at myself for getting into the accident.  My car is in for major repairs…my poor Goldberry. :(   I’m resting a lot and the more sleep I get the less the aches and pains show up.  So I guess that is good.

Right now I’m at work (aka my other home) and typing this quick little blog while I still have a silent lobby and don’t get disturbed by the jerks that are known as guests.  I should say while I’m not bothered by this one specific group of guests….but I’m in a “I hate people” mood so…ya know.

For Christmas I got a video games.  Started two of the five…and I’m stuck in both of them!  GGRRR!!!! >.<  

I’ll be at work for New Year’s Eve.  Colored me with freaking joy.  At least management knows that I’ll kick drunk people out and that I’ll make them pay for the room.  I’m just pissed off at the part time auditor because he threatened to quit if he had to work New Year’s Eve.  I mean…I work 98% of the freaking holidays around here and that isn’t counting the ones that I sign up to work.  And now I have to work 99% of the holidays this year! 

I’m still picking up the slack from the first two shifts at work.  At this rate the company should just have me work 24/7. 

I haven’t taken my week’s vacation yet.  I’m thinking of taking it during Spring Break.  Hopefully I can go and do something nice for a change.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas/Holiday Season.

Take care,

Jenn

Posted by: iceangel16 | September 24, 2009

Ponderings Of Fire

September 14th, 1980 my Grandpa Wery’s barn burnt down.  He and my grandma lived right next door and my dad and older sister did all they could with my uncle, aunt and cousins to get as many of the animals out of the barn and such. 

But…where was my mom?  She was sitting on the “side lines” annoyed that people wouldn’t let her help with the salvage/rescue stuff.  Why wouldn’t people let her help?  She was pregnant….with me.

So, two days later, I was born on a Monday the 16th at 8:32am. 

Jump ahead to Fall of 2000 or Spring of 2001. 

There were these two women at the church I was attending and they would get words from God and then pray those words over an individual.  When they prayed over me the words “fresh fire” were said.  Some people wrote down those words for me and sometimes I re-read them.  The mention of loving with Jesus’ love was also brought up during this experience.

Move along to May of 2002, some friends of mine and I went to hear someone speak to a youth group in H-Town.  A few days later, my unbiological sister typed up this “thing” that came from God in regards to what was prayed about in H-Town and stuff.  One thing idea that was in this “letter” dealt with boldness.

Why is all this stuff important?

I was going through a binder I had and came across some journal entries and noticed that I was reading a chapter of the Bible a day.  I actually was doing a Bible study and kept up with it every day for about two years.

I started thinking about the stuff I was reading and then started wondering about things that happened before I was born. 

For example, the barn fire.  If you were to talk to any one of my friends, they would tell you that I don’t like being the center of attention and that it takes a lot of coaxing for me to speak up about something that bothers me.  So when I read things from the past about boldness, I kinda laugh them off.  At times people interconnect the themes of boldness and passion and most people association passion with heat or a fire. 

One journal entry that I read dealt with a converstation that Sarah and I had.  She had mentioned during that convo that when I wasn’t distracted by Jeff, that I had a boldness with/in my relationship with God. 

So, after my birthday this year, I started thinking about a possible connection between the barn fire and the date of my birth. 

One thing I thought of/about was how the Holy Spirit settled on those after Jesus’ death as a fire and then those people started speaking different languages.

Why did I think about this?

Well, the Holy Spirit settled on those people as a fire and two days before I was born, it could have been a sign.  As I grew up attending CCD classes, I was known as the “Bible” kid.  I hated being called that becuase I thought it was obvious as to what the class readings and the teachers wanted us to learn about the topic of the week.  Themes and concepts in regards to religion just came easily to me.  Then my parents changed parishes, which meant that I would attend CCD at a different church.  Once I started going to the “new” CCD place, I was labeled the “Bible kid” again, but this time I wasn’t alone.  Adam and I seemed to have the same type of understanding about what was being taught to us.

When I was going through Confirmation classes, everyone had to go to an interview before the classes started.  My teacher Don explained that he was going to ask a series of questions in order to see how “prepared” I was for Confirmation.  He also explained that if I didn’t answer something right it was ok because most kids my age (I was 17/18 at the time) might not comprehend some themes and such.  Well, after Don asked all the questions, he made a comment about how in all his years of doing the Confirmation classes, that he was shocked that I had the understandings of themes, concepts, etc because most people didn’t have the understanding that I did…and that included some adults.

As I went to college and stuff, I noticed changes in how I viewed things and stuff.  At college I was able to discuss my views openly and participate in Bible studies and all that other stuff.   So I felt that being dubbed the “Bible kid” wasn’t necessarily a bad thing because it just meant that I had a theological/religious understanding about stuff.

What does all of this have to do with a freaking fire or my life?

I have been pondering the possibility of the fire being a sign from God in regards that I am meant to be used and that my childhood understandings and stuff could have been touches of the Holy Spirit and/or God.  I’m reminded of another converstation Sarah and I had.  Someone in the United States prayed that revival would start here, in the U.P.  When Sarah told me that, I considered it because things were happening and I felt that God was going to do something. 

Well, time went on and nothing (at least in my eyes) happened.  Then a few years later I questioned Sarah about what that person prayed.  She said that just because it didn’t happen around the time it was prayed doesn’t meant that it won’t happen.  And then she said something that shocked me.  She said maybe that maybe she and I were suppose to be involved in the revival.  That thought still freaks me out slightly.

Recently, I have volunteered to be part of the Fire UP committee staff.  And the purpose of Fire UP is to encourage the youth to thrive within their relationships with God in a world that might not understand.  I feel for the youth.  I went through a rough time during that age range and was never able to talk to anyone because no one understood.  So the chance to just be there for a pre-teen/teen is cool to me.

I guess if you follow the fire+day of my birth+possible HS connection+revival starting in the UP+committee position+past experiences =possible sparks that start a revival or bring about clarification of God’s plan for me.  This is hard for me to articulate.  And I can’t draw maps to help connect ideas either.  So I am sorry for the ramblings.

Sarah did tell me about a dream a few years ago and it dealt with a former Air Force base here in the area being opened up for military purposes again.  I remember  making a comment to her about fire.  I asked her what happens when a fire breaks out.  She responded in a “duh” like manner that it spreads.  I looked at her and then said…people try to put it out.  I guess if changes are going to happen and if I am marked with a “fresh fire”, I could spark something.  And if I do…there is a feeling that I will be blind sided with a ton of stuff to distract me. 

I guess I’m just trying to see if the thoughts of a connection existing are even possible and stuff. 

Thanks for suffering through this long blog.

Take care.

Posted by: iceangel16 | September 7, 2009

Information

Wednesday while I was sitting in my Administrative Law class, I couldn’t stop thinking about the Town Hall meeting that Sarah and I attended. 

As I pondered things and tried to remember what the Congressman said, my professor made a comment that caught my attention.  She said that most Americans don’t understand the functions that certain government branches perform or are in charge of.  After she said that I became a little sad. 

Then she said something else that made me get a little angry. 

My professor has been told by people that when they addressed their Congress people about a topic that has concerned them, the Congress person has openly said…”I can’t do (insert thing here) because of the (insert certain agency here).” 

For example, if someone contacted their Congress person and said that they didn’t like the regulation on having their car tested for emissions, and the Congress person said they couldn’t do anything because of the EPA that is a load of bunk!

Congress CREATED the EPA (and other agencies) and GAVE them power to regulate certain things. 

SO…if you or someone you know ever gets a response like that, you should tell the Congress person that you’d like them to propose changing the functions/powers of (insert agency name here).

What made me angry in that case the Congress person KNEW that they had the power to try and address the issue their constitutant.  But rather than inform their constitutant that he/she would introduce a bill for changing that particular agency, the Congress person just said…”I can’t because of…”.

If members of our own government will pass accountability/blame on others, no wonder why people make comments about how they don’t trust politicians.

Here’s another little tid-bit of information for you. 

People in government offices will say anything to gain the people’s support while running for office or seeking a second term.  The main focus found running through the heads of Congress people’s first term in office is how to be there again for a second term.  So instead of championing for the people and the causes that matter to them, that Congress person is plotting/planning/saving up for seeking another term in their office.

Does this bother anyone else?

I am not political.  I view my political beliefs like I view my religious beliefs….they are private.  Therefore I don’t discuss them because I see them both as personal.   But after hearing this stuff from my professor, it made me angry and sad at the way our Congress people will disregard those that put them in office.

Ok….I’m done talking about this. 

But I just wanted everyone to know about these little pieces of information.  That way if you know of someone that is not being “heard” by their members of Congress….they have a little bit of ammo to go and let those Congress people know that I will not be pushed around, I’m not ignorant, and if you won’t listen to me, I’ll vote for someone that will.

 

Have a good Labor Day everyone.

Posted by: iceangel16 | August 28, 2009

Something New

This is my first blog here at WordPress. 

I use to blog elsewhere but since I don’t frequent that place anymore, I’ve decided that I need to blog someplace new. 

What to blog about…

Well, I hope to graduate from undergrad school in May 2010.  I’m excited to be done and move on to grad school.  But this semester is going to be rough seeing as how I have late afternoon and evening classes while still working full time at the hotel and third shift.

Speaking of work…OY!

There has been a ton of staff changes recently.  Normally I don’t mind.  But something I’ve recently found out is that new hires with NO previous hotel experience are getting my wage as their starting wage.

I’ve been here for 2 years.  The last time I got a raise was after my 90 day review.  After that there was a corporate wide wage freeze.  But, new hires were getting my wage starting, people that threatened to work else where were given raises to stay. 

How is that fair?

I work my butt off for this place and have sacrificed time with my family during the holidays, sleep, time, and a bunch of other stuff in order to be available for this place.  Hell, I’ve even made my class schedules around work!  But I’m still not work a raise after two glowing reviews. 

When management tells me that they appreciate me, I no longer believe it.  Not once has management went to bat for me with the owners for a raise.  I continue to kill myself for the company and not get one ounce of anything in return.

I feel like a dead horse that keeps getting beaten…even when there are only bone fragments left to kick/beat.

So this means that I’ll be job hunting and if I find another job and get hired, I’m outta here.  And I don’t think I would feel bad about leaving during a “busy” time and having management scramble to find a replacement and stuff.  I mean, I work 5 nights a week.  The other individuals that could work my shift all have classes which prevent them from working 11pm-7am. 

Moving off of the work topic because it will only anger me further.

I’m thinking about getting involved with a local organization.  I’ve volunteered for this organization in the past and had many bad experiences.  But I kept volunteering because it wasn’t about me, it was about the pre-teens and teens that attended the event. 

I liked being around the young adults and having the opportunity to talk to them about whatever might have been bothering them.  My heart really went out to those kids.  My heart is still with that age group.  I would really like to be involved again and be able to help a person in need.

But here are the kickers.

Time right now is iffy.  I’m taking 14 credits along with working 40+ hours a week.  But then again, if work isn’t going to stand up for me, I think my availbility has just been limited.

Another kicker is that this is a religious based organization.

For over a year now I’ve been severly angry with God.  I’ve openly told God that if  “x” doesn’t happen, that I was done with Him.  (Needless to say….”x” still hasn’t happened.) 

Why is this important?

It is important because how can I help “minister” to a teen if I’m not willing to let God guide me?  I don’t want to be a hyprocrite.  It irks me to no end when I see hyprocracy in practice.

Another issue is belonging to a church.  I’ve lived in this area for 10 years.  I have attended churches but haven’t felt that any church I’ve been to are “home” or have the potential to be “home”.

Since I was treated poorly by some of the organization’s members in the past….I’m leary about becoming part of it.

But then I feel that perhaps I can’t get over  my anger isues with God if I don’t get involved with the organization and put myself into a position to maybe hear what He has for me from some of the “good” people that work there.

Color me confused and stuff.

So…that’s about it for me right now.

Categories